Gig Tees - What to Wear?

Split the Atom's Gig T-Shirt Guide

Split the Atom helps you side-step the pitfalls when choosing what to wear and what not to be seen buried in when attending to your next gig.

The T-shirt that you wear to a gig is a minor issue, you would think. No-one's there to see you, are they? They're there to see the hot, young band - and, for what it's worth, you could wear a tea-cosy on your head and it wouldn't matter a jot to anyone.

None of this is true of course, because, for most of us, what we wear to a gig is one of the single most important decisions we will make in our life. Why? Because the majority of us are highly insecure and, while the practice of looking hip might be shallow and facile, it really is all we've got going for us. To wear the wrong piece of clothing to a gig could, in a single blow, destroy our self esteem and, with it, our future happiness.

When you go to the venue bar to pay £4.20 for a can of Red Stripe, you don't need a trendy metropolitan type looking you up and down as if you're some kind of bumpkin. This would be a tragic event that would chip away at your fragile ego for the rest of your life. You can pretend it won't - but it will.

So, in the interests of avoiding perilous fashion mishaps, here is a guide to aid your wardrobe decision-making process. (If you're the sort of happy-go-lucky individual, who would not have a problem with waltzing into the Kings Cross Scala wearing a potato sack: good for you - we mean it. And there's no need to continue reading because, frankly, you're above it all. But for those of us who live in the real world, the following info is vital.)

The Gig Tee Guide

No, no, no: Never wear t shirts featuring the band you're going to see. Why? Two reasons:

1. It shows an extravagant lack of imagination on your part. You are at a gig, not a football match, and while the one thing you have in common with your fellow gig-goers is that you're all rather fond of the band you've come to see, you should still be keen to assert your individuality at every opportunity. Your effortless attitude towards others should be: 'Yeah, well, we might both love bearded alt-folkies Herman Düne, but in all other respects, there's an ocean between us.' Fact of life: aloofness wins adoration.
2. Others will certainly be wearing tee-shirts of the band you are going to see, and to be seen wearing the same garment of clothing as someone in your general vicinity is a spectacular fashion faux pas, and must be avoided at all costs.

The one possible exception is to wear a tee-shirt of the appearing band that is, say, a decade old. This means that you liked the said band before anyone else - and in indie circles this in phenomenally important. But, even then, people will probably conclude that you're getting on in years rather than looking cool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah: try adopting the slightly clever/semi-annoying tactic of wearing tees featuring bands that have obviously been a big influence on the band you're there to see. Here are some handy examples:

1. Franz Ferdinand gig? A Talking Heads or Blondie T-shirt does the job.
2. Super Furry Animals gig? Beatles, Beach Boys and ELO T-shirts hit the spot.
3. Editors gig? U2, Joy Division or Gang of Four tees will tell all you know the score.
4. Killers gig? A Cure or New Order T-shirt will chalk-up kudos.
5. Richard Hawley? An Elvis or Dino tee - now we're talking classy.

And so on.

This sends out the vibe that while you enjoy the performing band, you're broad-minded enough to appreciate that said combo is merely a fragment in the rich tapestry of music.

Broader Horizons T-Shirt

Alternatively, wear a tee of a genre that is miles away from the band you're seeing (e.g. Try a 2 Tone tee at a Queens of The Stoneage gig.) This may bamboozle others to the point of apoplexy - always a good thing.

No, no, no: Don't wear a trendy high-street T-shirt brand. There's probably know good place for these garments (except the charity bag) but, if there is, the music venue isn't that place. These kinds of T-shirts are branded products, with not even pretensions of art and bohemia, and are completely at odds with the counter-cultural context of the live-music venue. Walk into the Leeds Cockpit, Sheffield Leadmill or Nottingham Rescue Rooms with an FCUK tee on, and you will feel like an idiot - it's guaranteed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah: Do wear avant-garde tees that are not mainstream fashion items. Doing this means avoiding decision-making minefield of which band tee to wear. In fact, why not just chuck on one of our tees? Fact: wearing a Split the Atom shirt informs the sweaty bodies around you that, yes, you are hip and, yes, you are with the scene, but, frankly, you transcend the petty partisanship of nailing your colours to a particular band's mast. You like music, but when it comes to ranking and pigeonholing bands, you've got better, less mildly-autistic things to do with your time.

And then, of course, there's the option of not wearing a T shirt all. Men have the option of wearing shirts - perhaps a kooky Florida-retiree short-sleeved number; something that Kramer (of Seinfeld fame) would wear. (Do try and stay away from Hawaiian shirts though, however tempting it may be. Wearing a Magnum PI special is classically associated with frat-party stupidity, and sends out the message: 'I yearn to be witty but this, unfortunately, is the best I can do.')

Women have loads more options going for them. There's an endless array of funky tops - maybe a bit boho, a bit goth - that not only check all the alt. boxes, they're also general fashion items that are widely available.

But we would still stress that T-shirts are the best gigwear around, not only because we sell them, but because of their practicality. You can't lose any buttons on a tee when you're boinging in the mosh-pit to some industrial act who have replaced their bass/drum rhythm section with heavy machinery.

Then again, the best advice is probably to forget all this narcissistic baloney - wear what you want - and enjoy your gig without giving a monkey's about what anybody else thinks about you (if you can).